Think back to the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic in early 2020, or even through that first year or so before most of us were able to get vaccinated. Many of us tried to minimize the amount of time we spent in public beyond what we were required to do. Our social functions were canceled or moved online. We saw only a small group of people who we were close to, looking to minimize our exposure to a new virus. Obviously many people were still going into work because their jobs were essential, but we were unable to go anywhere to decompress and enjoy a social gathering like we had become used to. We lost access to people.
This isn’t anything new. In many ways we’ve been slowly increasing our social isolation for decades. We use drive-thrus instead of walking into a burger joint or coffee shop. We order our packages online instead of going out to shop. Many live in the suburbs and drive to work every day, never interacting with another person unless they choose to. I’m guilty of this as well. Ordering a bagel online and spending less than five seconds in the actual shop has become a habit for me. These aren’t all bad things, and some even have some significant positive effects, but they do keep us from people outside our own circles and we lose out from many rich interactions as a result. In some cases, they have exasperated what many have been calling the epidemic of loneliness as we leave those without a social circle to fend for themselves.
A common thread through most of my blog has been the importance of creating spaces where people are encouraged to interact with friends and strangers. This might be through encouraging people to get out of their cars and walk or ride a bike through the city; closing streets to encourage outdoor dining or games; or creating shared experiences like a sporting event or festival. Each of these look for opportunities for people to mix with others they may not engage with otherwise. That, in essence, is what a “third place” provides.
Ray Oldenburh, professor emeritus of sociology at the University of West Florida in Pensacola, describes third places as separate from home (the “first” place) and work (the “second” place) where people go seeking leisure with friends and strangers. They are the places where there is little to no cost to enter and you’re invited to connect with others outside of your immediate circles; churches, parks, coffee shops, salons, diners, gyms, bars or even your local corner store.
Our TV shows are filled with third places. Tom’s Diner in Seinfeld, Central Perk in Friends, McLaren’s Pub in How I Met Your Mother, and Cheers. While these are fictional places, many of us have found similar places of our own where we can walk in and expect to see friends or at least familiar faces.
In many ways, third places are what make cities the amazing and vibrant places that they are. They are vital components to the “sidewalk ballet” as Jane Jacobs writes, where people’s movements and interactions reflect one another. You can see it in some of our older neighborhoods where the business cores still exist. The businesses may have changed hands or redeveloped entirely, but their function as a gathering place still remains.
It might be a gym where you run into neighbors and friends, or see specific members every morning and know their general routine. It might be a cafe where your barista knows your order right when they see you, or a bar that ensures the game you care about is playing on the TV. There’s a familiarity but also a chance to encounter others you may not have expected. It becomes a part of who you are, and you become part of a small community.
Diners, more than almost anywhere else, have served as true third places for generations. Cheap comfort food. Small, intimate settings often with staff who have been there for years. Customers who come in weekly, or even daily, to get the same thing over and over, which is a goal of mine as I get older. Every city I travel to I try to find a small neighborhood diner to hit up, knowing that I’ll get to see a different side of the community. Its easy to walk into a conversation and learn something new.
Yet, many of our third places are being lost. Rents have become burdensome to many. Large chains have begun to dominate suburban areas, which may be even more true after the pandemic as many smaller businesses struggled to stay afloat. Our towns have emphasized the development of large shopping centers with big box stores that require a car to visit instead of encouraging smaller, more niche buildings in walkable areas.
Diners and neighborhood bars have struggled in recent years, unless they have leaned into becoming Instagramable set pieces. This isn’t to say these newer spaces don’t offer up good food and atmospheres, but they do become difficult to get into or come with a price barrier some can’t meet. Some places are working to reinvent themselves, like bars that encourage game nights with or without drinks, or adding outdoor dining spaces wherever possible to increase customer comfort during the Covid era.
We need to protect and encourage the development of these third places. There’s no magic way to conger these spaces up, but instead it requires a holistic approach to cities.
We can lay out a solid foundation through public policies including: zoning that allows neighborhood businesses within every residential neighborhood; affordable small business loans; affordable housing and commercial space requirements; and streamlined permitting and approval processes.
We can also encourage more community activity through the design of our public areas through: wide, accessible sidewalks that allow people of all abilities to get around outside of a car; bike lanes and bike parking to encourage a more social form of transportation that also keeps streets quiet and pleasant for people to talk and engage; and the preservation of greenery through street trees and public parks.
These are all common themes through urban planning, but often these policies are thought of in silos. Business development is often removed from active transportation policies and the parks department, even though many of these businesses offer up a public service of their own. Third places are a utility to the communities they are in and we should expand how we incorporate them into our planning discussions.
Next time you’re in a third place, think about what that place may mean to you beyond just the food or service they specialize in. Think about the community you interact with and how that might shape the way you think and behave just because this space is part of your normal routine.
A small outdoor space behind a local bodega in the Bronx becomes an impromptu community space after NYCFC games at Yankee Stadium nearby.